My parents wed in March, on the 29th, 64 years ago. Our friends Shannon and Paul, are celebrating their wedding on March 19th (Frank and I will be there!), and then just under 4 weeks from now, Frank and I make honest men of each other. It's going to be a good month, a month of memories!
March hasn't traditionally been a month of marriages, but then the cherry blossoms used to bloom in mid-April and not the end of March when they now bloom. The first gay and lesbian marriages in DC took place in March a year ago. So maybe March IS the new June!
And it is the month when Frank and I had our first date at Mr Henry's on Capitol Hill, some four years ago.
March is getting a make-over, maybe even an extreme make-over into a time of loving memories. Quite an improvement on being known as the month of Caesar's murder.
Frank and Mark
click on the image to go to the website
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Frustration Mounts
We asked for the response cards back by March 1, there are several people that still haven't responded. Being the control freak, it is frustrating for me to get this close and still not know exactly how many to plan for at the reception. Oh well it has good growth potential.
This is an exciting and fun time, making all the arrangements and seeing everything come together. Now that we have the Marriage License it all seems more real.
This is an exciting and fun time, making all the arrangements and seeing everything come together. Now that we have the Marriage License it all seems more real.
Friday, February 25, 2011
It's just a piece of paper ...
I can hear people saying that what Frank and I have goes way beyond paper and legal niceties. And they're right. BUT...
That little piece of paper that Frank picked up yesterday from the courthouse, our marriage license from the District of Columbia, is an affirmation, is a guarantee, and is a victory!
It is our chance to publicly and legally declare our love and commitment to each other just like (as a mildly homophobic former colleague at CSC once said) "regular people" do. It affirms that we are just as deserving of respect and civil rights as any other US citizens. That little piece of paper allows us to feel almost equal.
In the handful of states that recognize our marriage it guarantees us rights of visitation and decision-making in times of illness and underpins our wills and other legal documents. UNFORTUNATELY, it has absolutely NO standing in the state where we live, Virginia, but it might help us if the other is hospitalized or dies in (God forbid!) Virginia. Of course we still have to file separately for taxes and have to hedge our wills and medical powers of attorney with all sorts of legal protections for them to have any weight. But it's a step forward for a group of people once denied all rights.
This little piece of paper is most certainly a victory. On March 9th, a year ago almost, the first marriages were performed for lesbians and gay men in the District of Columbia, after US District Court ruled against a motion for a referendum on the issue. It is also 50 years, more or less exactly, since Dr. Frank Kameny launched his frontal assault on official federal and local discrimination against homosexuals, declaring that being gay " ... is not only not immoral but that, for those choosing to engage in homosexual acts, such acts are moral in a real and positive sense, and are good, right, and desirable, socially and personally."
And so, that marriage license is far from being just a little bit of paper!
Mark
That little piece of paper that Frank picked up yesterday from the courthouse, our marriage license from the District of Columbia, is an affirmation, is a guarantee, and is a victory!
It is our chance to publicly and legally declare our love and commitment to each other just like (as a mildly homophobic former colleague at CSC once said) "regular people" do. It affirms that we are just as deserving of respect and civil rights as any other US citizens. That little piece of paper allows us to feel almost equal.
In the handful of states that recognize our marriage it guarantees us rights of visitation and decision-making in times of illness and underpins our wills and other legal documents. UNFORTUNATELY, it has absolutely NO standing in the state where we live, Virginia, but it might help us if the other is hospitalized or dies in (God forbid!) Virginia. Of course we still have to file separately for taxes and have to hedge our wills and medical powers of attorney with all sorts of legal protections for them to have any weight. But it's a step forward for a group of people once denied all rights.
This little piece of paper is most certainly a victory. On March 9th, a year ago almost, the first marriages were performed for lesbians and gay men in the District of Columbia, after US District Court ruled against a motion for a referendum on the issue. It is also 50 years, more or less exactly, since Dr. Frank Kameny launched his frontal assault on official federal and local discrimination against homosexuals, declaring that being gay " ... is not only not immoral but that, for those choosing to engage in homosexual acts, such acts are moral in a real and positive sense, and are good, right, and desirable, socially and personally."
And so, that marriage license is far from being just a little bit of paper!
Mark
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Coffee for the Masses
Mark just doesn't understand, you never know when 100 people will show up at your door and need a hot cup of coffee. We will be prepared. Of course we could always turn it into a planter.
The mail arrived today with no replies. It was very disappointing. It's like Santa didn't bring the present you wanted. Better luck tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow, it's a big day. I'm going back to the DC Courthouse to pick up the Marriage License. YIPEE!!! I'm also having lunch with a member of our Oversight Committee. We will be going over the arrangements and where we are with the planning.
Frank
The mail arrived today with no replies. It was very disappointing. It's like Santa didn't bring the present you wanted. Better luck tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow, it's a big day. I'm going back to the DC Courthouse to pick up the Marriage License. YIPEE!!! I'm also having lunch with a member of our Oversight Committee. We will be going over the arrangements and where we are with the planning.
Frank
Making coffee for a crowd
Planning a wedding reception gets you into looking for all sorts of things you will NEVER need again!
So, in looking over the Fairlington Community Center where we will hold our post-wedding reception, Frank noticed that their coffeemaker was clearly inadequate for the crowd we're expecting. Clearly! So being the good Ebay and Amazon shopper he is he went online and checked out the possibilities. He put in a bid on a used industrial-strength coffeemaker (100 cups at a brewtime) like the kind you see in school cafeterias and Old Country Buffet places. Big. Aluminum, with the glass tube so you can see how much coffee you have left. Way too big for the counter in our little galley kitchen.
And of course, just after putting in his Ebay bid, he found he could borrow one from somewhere else. But it was too late to cancel his bid, and since it was the ONLY bid, guess what we won and what showed up on our doorstep yesterday afternoon. Our new giant coffeemaker for a once-in-a-lifetime event. By 6 pm on March 26th the thing will be redundant. Again.
Mark
So, in looking over the Fairlington Community Center where we will hold our post-wedding reception, Frank noticed that their coffeemaker was clearly inadequate for the crowd we're expecting. Clearly! So being the good Ebay and Amazon shopper he is he went online and checked out the possibilities. He put in a bid on a used industrial-strength coffeemaker (100 cups at a brewtime) like the kind you see in school cafeterias and Old Country Buffet places. Big. Aluminum, with the glass tube so you can see how much coffee you have left. Way too big for the counter in our little galley kitchen.
And of course, just after putting in his Ebay bid, he found he could borrow one from somewhere else. But it was too late to cancel his bid, and since it was the ONLY bid, guess what we won and what showed up on our doorstep yesterday afternoon. Our new giant coffeemaker for a once-in-a-lifetime event. By 6 pm on March 26th the thing will be redundant. Again.
Mark
Sunday, February 20, 2011
And since we're mentioning clothes ...
Let me just say that beltless button-laden suspender-hiked Amish-style plain dress trousers can be REAL confusing. Tried on my plain dress this evening (pants too long but my sister-in-law Nancy has offered to fix that). The pants are called broadfall drop-front pants. The have an almost-belt built in that has two buttons and a large flap buttoned from left to right to the top of the pants and then a couple of subsidiary buttons plus two buttons in the back for the suspenders and four in the front (two for each set of tabs). Let me tell you if you get the suspenders attached to the wrong buttons, you run out of ways to fasten your pants and the results can verge on humiliating. I've learned it's better to start with the suspenders already buttoned on and then you don't mix their buttons up with the broadfall drop-front. There are a lot more buttons on the front than on the back.
This plain dress can be a lot of work!
Mark
This plain dress can be a lot of work!
Mark
1 ... 2 ... 3 ...
Counting days until Frank picks up our marriage license at the DC Courthouse. Counting responses for the wedding and reception. Counting people for the rehearsal and the dinner afterwards. Frank is making reservations at Buca di Beppo (spelling?) just up the road from the Meetinghouse. We set the rehearsal for 6 pm since some of the ushers will have to come from work.
I know some might wonder how you rehearse for a Quaker wedding! Well, we don't have to worry about the choir, or the music, or the preacher since there aren't any of those. But as our Oversight Committee would say, "there's always something"! So we will run through the sequence of events, where the desk with the marriage certificate that Frank and I sign goes, the vows, the rings, where the three ushers will stand and direct people to sit (and remind them to turn off cellphones etc.), where family members and ushers will sit during Meeting, where the desk with the certificate goes after Meeting for all of the guests to sign, and probably a number of things that haven't occurred to me yet.
Last night I suddenly remembered we hadn't taken my trousers for hemming but Frank said there's plenty of time. Why do I feel like we're running out of time then?
Mark
I know some might wonder how you rehearse for a Quaker wedding! Well, we don't have to worry about the choir, or the music, or the preacher since there aren't any of those. But as our Oversight Committee would say, "there's always something"! So we will run through the sequence of events, where the desk with the marriage certificate that Frank and I sign goes, the vows, the rings, where the three ushers will stand and direct people to sit (and remind them to turn off cellphones etc.), where family members and ushers will sit during Meeting, where the desk with the certificate goes after Meeting for all of the guests to sign, and probably a number of things that haven't occurred to me yet.
Last night I suddenly remembered we hadn't taken my trousers for hemming but Frank said there's plenty of time. Why do I feel like we're running out of time then?
Mark
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Responses Received
As of today February 19, 2011 we have 80 people that are coming to celebrate our marriage. I am humbled that so many people are attending. It is a very exciting time and we are counting down the days. We both have a countdown app on our phones. (Frank)
Oh yeah, the clothes thing
BTW There is no need for anyone other than the grooms to wear plain dress! Please do not feel that you need to look for Quaker clothes for the wedding. We do urge everyone to seek simplicity in their own lives. Men attending the wedding should not wear ties.
Mark and Frank
Mark and Frank
35 Days Left!
Well just five weeks from today we will have really lost our minds. We'll be running madly about trying to get everything done and I will be doing my micro-managing best to get in everyone's way! Actually we have some superb Friends from Meeting who are keeping watch over it all: Susan Griffin, Joe Izzo, and the great-rememberer Tom Libbert,so we should be good!
We are making progress. I've just added a free countdown clock to our website. Our clothes have arrived from the Amish tailor in Pennsylvania (my pants are too long; must have been wearing boots when I got fitted.) and our shirts and suspenders have come from Gohn Brothers in Indiana. All we need now are the hats.
The rings are here and inscribed. The wedding certificate is here and looks beautiful. I guess things are proceeding for the reception. Frank is looking after most of that. Now I have to start memorizing our wedding vows so I don't make a fool of myself in Meeting on March 26th.
We are very excited that so many friends and relatives are coming. My sister Barb and Frank's sister Nancy will be reading our vows at the wedding.
Soooo here we go with our new blog and our thoughts as we get through the next 35 days, and of course you can all add your thoughts as well.
Mark
We are making progress. I've just added a free countdown clock to our website. Our clothes have arrived from the Amish tailor in Pennsylvania (my pants are too long; must have been wearing boots when I got fitted.) and our shirts and suspenders have come from Gohn Brothers in Indiana. All we need now are the hats.
The rings are here and inscribed. The wedding certificate is here and looks beautiful. I guess things are proceeding for the reception. Frank is looking after most of that. Now I have to start memorizing our wedding vows so I don't make a fool of myself in Meeting on March 26th.
We are very excited that so many friends and relatives are coming. My sister Barb and Frank's sister Nancy will be reading our vows at the wedding.
Soooo here we go with our new blog and our thoughts as we get through the next 35 days, and of course you can all add your thoughts as well.
Mark
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